Keep it Simple

We are in about our sixth week of sheltering in place. Hopefully this post finds you healthy and safe, and getting more “used to” the new routines we all are creating. I am finding for myself, that as time goes on, my mind and my body are adjusting more to the current pace. I’m doing a lot of cooking and there never seems to be a moment when the sink does not have dishes in it! Good weather helps me when I can get outside so I feel less stuck, and of course, I can walk off some of the meals I’m making.

During this time of sheltering in place, I’ve been getting so many videos of parodies about the virus and being at home. So many of these are SO FUNNY, I just laugh out loud, which is a very good thing right now. People are so very clever and creative.

The other day, a friend of mine sent me a link to a video (see below). It is funny, but it is more than that, it is very touching and sweet. It is a family in Scotland, with two boys, ages two and five. The boys didn’t understand why they couldn’t go out to dinner at the moment, and so their parents created the Mommy and Daddy restaurant for them. It’s precious.

And my point in sending you another video is??? How our kids remember this period in their/our lives is yet to be determined. But we know that kids will hook on to different memories and perspectives than we as adults will. Kids will remember the very simple things…..like when Mom and Dad created a restaurant at home, complete with printed menus and mints with the “bill.” Kids will remember playing Uno with their grandparents on Zoom, the new household word. Kids will remember their birthday party when their friends drove by with their parents and created a parade of cars and cheering on the block. Even my twenty-something daughter will remember that our family and friends gathered in the street and sang Happy Birthday to her as loud as we could.

I’m not saying that there will not be some form of difficulty from this period. There will be, we just don’t know what this will look like yet. And I am training in advance as to how this might look and how to treat it.

Three years ago, I posted a piece on my blog called “Slow. It. Down.” I’m attaching this too. It basically says that the ways for our kids to feel MOST SAFE and GROUNDED in their world, are the simple interactions we have with them consistently. Like reading them a story, baking cookies together, throwing a ball in the backyard. It really isn’t taking them to Cirque du Soleil, even though that is certainly a fun and wonderful thing to do. The real safety comes in the close interactions that are simple and don’t even cost anything!

And I think this applies to adults and adult relationships too. With whomever lives in our homes, we are likely redefining how we interact and how we spend our time. We might be cooking more together. Baking bread. Finding a Netflix show that we can all watch together. Tackling home clean-up projects. Creating a special meal by candlelight, which we might not ordinarily do. Finding ways to connect and feel safe within the current limitations.

We are certainly getting a lot of opportunities to have close, simple, basic interactions right now! Some people are saying that this is a silver lining coming out of this very scary time.

These interactions are helping our kids, both little and big, and maybe even ourselves, to feel safe and grounded and connected. This is the very best thing we can do right now.

Here is the link to the restaurant video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qej4qh5rCaA

And a link to my previous post:

https://lynndentontherapy.com/slow-it-down/

So tune into the moments when you feel calm and connected to your family and friends. At some point, we will be back on the faster track of our previous lives, and we will have those memories to hold on to.